


Andante, Andante

by Aerica_Menai



Series: Humbug 'verse [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, aspec!Victor, demisexual!Yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:35:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerica_Menai/pseuds/Aerica_Menai
Summary: After gifting Victor himself for Christmas last year, Yuuri thinks he has a good follow-up gift; unfortunately, things don't exactly go as planned...
Relationships: Christophe Giacometti & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri
Series: Humbug 'verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566793
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	Andante, Andante

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the always amazing @grayraincurtain - thank you <3
> 
> (Rated M mostly because this is definitely more intense than my usual fics, which are rated T just to be safe, so this is rated M for the same reason. It's still pretty tame, but...just in case.)
> 
> Title from the Mamma Mia 2 song of the same name.

“Any idea what Yuuri’s getting you for Christmas this year?” Chris waggled his eyebrows at Victor through the computer screen. 

Victor smiled cheerfully. “Nope, no idea – why, do you know something?”

Chris grinned lecherously. “I definitely have some ideas...” he purred. 

Victor couldn’t help himself – he flinched slightly before rallying, hoping that Chris wouldn’t notice. “I don’t think that Yuuri would be up for any of your ideas,” Victor chuckled. “He still gets flustered by all your dirty jokes – I think one of your suggestions might actually cause a nosebleed!” 

Chris smirked. “That’s not what a little bird told me~” he sang.

Victor’s smile fell as his nerves reappeared. “What – ?”

“Get ready, Victor. It sounds like Yuuri is getting ready to bring some Eros home!” Chris waggled his eyebrows again, too distracted to notice that his friend’s laughter was the kind he gave at press conferences, not the genuine article.

*~*

Chris’ little bird was, of course, Phichit, who had Skyped with Yuuri a week earlier about potential Christmas presents since his present last year had been such a grand gesture.

“I mean, what’s really left?” Phichit wondered out loud to a fidgeting Yuuri.

“Well...” Yuuri mumbled.

Phichit immediately focused on his friend. “Yuuuuuuri. You *do* have a plan! Spill!”

“I, uh...” Yuuri blushed a bright red. “...I thought I’d surprise Victor with a romantic evening.”

“Aaaand?” Phichit asked, knowing there had to be more to it if Yuuri was so twitchy. 

“...And maybe decorate the bedroom a bit, add some atmosphere,” Yuuri continued reluctantly. 

“Oh my GOD, Yuuri, you and Victor are finally going to DO IT!!”

“Yes, fine, that’s my plan – now be quiet, jeez!” Yuuri hissed. “I don’t need the Internet in our business any more than it already is!”

“My lips are sealed,” Phichit promised. 

(Yuuri knew that wasn’t true, but he also knew that the promise meant that his plans wouldn’t end up on the Internet; Phichit would be discreet enough to make sure of that. Chris was sure to know within minutes, though. Which means Victor wouldn’t be too far behind. Maybe it was better to move his plans up and preserve most of the surprise...)

*~*

A week after his Skype with Chris – a week before Christmas and his birthday – Victor arrived home very ready to cuddle up with Yuuri and watch something pleasantly mind-numbing; one of those Studio Ghibli movies Yuuri was so fond of, perhaps. 

Instead, he came home to a darkened apartment, although there was a delicious smell wafting from the kitchen – fresh katsudon, what a treat! – and Victor rushed into their bedroom, eager to change into comfy pajamas and enjoy the surprise meal.

Yuuri was in their bedroom as well, not entirely unexpected given the rest of their dark apartment; but what was unexpected was Yuuri’s outfit...or lack of one. Yuuri was only wearing very small, very tight black briefs and a deep red blush.

Victor rubbed his eyes for a second, wondering if this was some sort of dream…but no, Yuuri was still there and still underdressed. 

As if all of that wasn’t enough, Yuuri sat up at Victor’s entrance and stared him straight in the eyes. “Victor... Victor, I want you to fuck me,” he said clearly and firmly – even if his face was still a deep red and the color was starting to creep down the rest of his body and...

Victor’s brain shut down in his surprise and – well, panic, if he was being honest – otherwise he never in a million years would have done what he did next.

Which was stammer, “I – I need to take a shower,” and flee to the bathroom, slamming the door in his haste.

*~*

Yuuri was left staring at the closed door. That was not at all how he had expected Victor to react. The man should have been happy to no longer be cockblocked by Yuuri’s anxieties or fears; Yuuri should have been well on his way to finally sharing the intimate act with Victor at this moment, but instead Victor...left. 

Left Yuuri alone with negativity swirling around his brain, mutating and multiplying into a number of reasons why Victor would have done such a thing, none of them good and all of them draining his self-esteem more and more by the minute. Why hadn’t he gone with the lingerie Chris had suggested; Chris knew Victor better, what if the briefs had been too boring – not sexy enough? Or...or maybe Victor wasn’t interested in sleeping with an almost-virgin, what with all of his experience and – 

Yuuri was jolted out of his thoughts by a sudden crash from the bathroom. He leapt out of bed, throwing on a robe as he rushed into the bathroom, calling for Victor. The only reply he got was a weak and unbelievable, “I’m fine,” followed by muffled whimpers. 

It broke Yuuri’s heart to think that Victor might be in pain and not want to talk to Yuuri about it, so he sat down on the toilet lid next to the shower. “I know you’re not alright,” Yuuri started softly. “You don’t have to tell me why, or what’s going on exactly, but I would like to see you, and just make sure nothing’s life-threatening or going to be problematic going forward if it isn’t looked at. Would that be okay?”

Victor stayed silent before responding sadly, “You’re going to laugh at me.”

“I promise Victor, I won’t laugh. I just want to make sure you’re okay, have proof to shut down the anxious voice in the back of my head.”

And with that, Victor tentatively pulled aside the shower curtain to reveal...a small bump on his head and his shampoo bottle on the floor. “The shampoo hit me,” he sniffled, “and then I started crying and now I can’t stop!” he wailed. 

This, Yuuri could deal with. “Victor, finish your shower. I’ll be back in a few minutes, alright?”

He waited for Victor’s affirmative before bustling off with Victor’s towels and PJs; he had a fiancé to spoil.

*~*

Victor miserably went back to his shower. Yuuri must think he was so pathetic, scared off by some briefs (lovely tight briefs, the pervy corner of his mind purred) and crying over getting hit by a freaking shampoo bottle in the shower. Victor wiped his eyes firmly. No more being a weepy mess; Yuuri deserved more from Victor than that.

His determination lasted right up until Yuuri came back into the bathroom with towels and pajamas that he had put in the dryer to warm up. Then Victor started crying again, overwhelmed by how thoughtful and wonderful his fiancé was as he dried off and snuggled into his cozily warm pajamas. He went back into the bedroom, where Yuuri was in bed, in pajamas of his own, with a Ghibli movie queued up on his computer and katsudon dished up on one of those cheesy breakfast-in-bed trays that Victor loved to surprise Yuuri with. Victor gave a teary, heart-shaped smile. “I love you so much, Yuuri,” he sniffled.

Yuuri smiled back. “I love you too. Now come on, let’s relax.”

*~*

After the katsudon was eaten and the credits for Kiki’s Delivery Service were rolling across the screen, Yuuri took a deep breath. He had to try and figure out what had gone wrong tonight – because something clearly had, with Victor this upset. “Is there anything you want to tell me about what happened tonight, Vitya?” Yuuri started tentatively. 

Victor stiffened next to him. “...Anything I want to tell you?” Victor eventually asked.

Yuuri sighed. “Yeah. I planned a romantic surprise, and instead of having the athletic night in bed I thought you would be excited for, you literally ran out of the room. *Something’s* wrong with that picture, Victor, and if I – ” He took a deep breath. “– if I did something wrong, or – didn’t wear the right thing, or maybe you’re just not interested because I’m inexperienced, especially compared to you, or – ”

“Yuuri, solnyshko, stop! I promise, you did nothing wrong,” Victor interrupted, gently palming Yuuri’s face and turning it so they were eye to eye. “You did *nothing* wrong, solnyshko, I was just surprised. And I reacted badly because of...well. I have some...issues, that we’ve never really talked about.”

Yuuri froze. “Vitya. Victor. Have you ever been – ”

“No, no, nothing has ever been done to me without my consent, no.” He hesitated. “I mean, there have been threats, of course – but nothing’s ever happened, Yuuri, please don’t worry about it,” he tried, watching how the mere idea immediately started to worry Yuuri. Best to distract him while coming clean then.

“It’s not that I’ve had nonconsensual sex, Yuuri, just...bad sex. And not nearly as much as you seem to think I’ve had.”

Yuuri raised an eyebrow. “You, famed international playboy, have not had as many lovers as the media has claimed?” he drawled sarcastically.

Victor snorted. “Definitely not that many. If I had slept with everyone the media claimed I had, I would have so many diseases.” Victor shuddered. “No, I’ve only slept with two people.”

Yuuri gaped at him. “Really?”

Victor shrugged. “Really.” 

“I mean, Chris was one of them, right?” 

Victor laughed. “I don’t know if what Chris and I did actually counts as sleeping together, but sure, we’ve played around. He wanted to go all the way, but I was...hesitant. I didn’t want to ruin what we had, our friendship.”

Yuuri closed his eyes. “And now...”

Victor hung his head. “Now I worry about it ruining our relationship,” he admitted. 

Yuuri was silent for a moment, then asked a surprising question. “Vitya, if the sex wasn’t bad because it wasn’t consensual, then why did you think it was bad?”

Victor just blinked at him. “You know, you’re the first person to ever ask me that,” he replied thoughtfully.

Yuuri smiled. “Let’s just say I have a different perspective than most people. And the answer is...?”

Victor thought about it for a while. “It’s...hard to describe. But...sleeping with men and women is different? The woman I slept with, that...it was difficult to stay hard and I hated every time she touched me and I just felt awful afterward.”

He hesitated before continuing. “Sleeping with the man was better, I didn’t mind the touching so much, but...” He gulped. “It hurt him. I know it did. And that...really overshadowed things for me. So even though I didn’t feel the same kind of awful as before, I...I felt so guilty and wrong and – I never wanted to feel like that again.” He shrugged. “So I never put myself in a position to.”

“So...no penetrative sex since...when?” Yuuri asked.

Victor smirked. “Well, I wouldn’t say *no* penetrative sex.” Yuuri blushed. “But certainly no anal action since...” Victor looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “About twelve years ago, now?”

Yuuri gaped at him. “Victor, are you saying that you had bad sex when you were sixteen and since then you’ve sworn off that kind of sex and just fooled around with people?”

Victor shrugged. “Yes. And I don’t seek it out or anything, but if someone comes to me and I’m up for it, then yes. I don’t get as much out of it as my partners seems to, but it makes them happy, so.” He shrugged again.

Yuuri shook his head, letting out a disbelieving chuckle. “Phichit’s going to go nuts,” he inexplicably laughed, before pulling Victor under the covers. “Vitya, we’re going to have a long and important conversation tomorrow. And don’t worry,” Yuuri reassured after seeing the look on Victor’s face. “It’ll be a good one – good news, not bad.”

Victor fell asleep wondering what the conversation was going to be about, and what on earth it had to do with Phichit?

*~*

They both called out from practice that day, citing the shower injury and wanting to take a day just in case. Yakov grumbled but agreed that it was better to be safe than sorry, and he would work them twice as hard tomorrow before abruptly hanging up.

After the katsudon, neither of them thought a big breakfast spread would be a good idea, but they did enjoy taking their time over a light breakfast, chatting and enjoying each other’s company. 

After the dishes were done and the kitchen cleaned up, Yuuri led Victor over to the couch and they got comfortable. “Vitya, have you ever heard of asexuality?” Yuuri asked.

Victor frowned at him. “Doesn’t that have something to do with cells?”

Yuuri chuckled. “That’s asexual reproduction, not asexuality.”

Victor shrugged. “Then no, not something I’ve heard of.”

Yuuri cuddled in closer. “I mean, I kinda figured after our conversation last night, but I just wanted to be sure.” He took a deep breath. “Do you remember back when we were still living in Hasetsu and I had trouble figuring out what Eros meant to me?”

Victor smiled. “Of course! You were so cute.”

Yuuri smiled back. “I don’t think I ever really explained *why* I had such trouble, did I?”

“Now that you mention it, no, you never did.” Victor looked at Yuuri curiously.

“Victor, I’m asexual. Or, really, more specifically, demisexual.” At Victor’s confuses glance, Yuuri started over. “Right, no context. So, asexuality – it just means that you aren’t sexually attracted to people; you don’t look at someone and think about having sex with them. There’s plenty of different subcategories under the umbrella term - that is, more general, overarching term – of asexuality. Like I said, I’m demisexual – meaning I need to form a deep emotional bond before I’m sexually attracted to somebody.”

Victor just nodded.

Yuuri sighed. “Victor. I think you’re asexual too.”

“Wh-what?”

“Victor. What you said last night, how you feel about having sex? It’s similar to how a lot of asexual people describe their feelings on sex, too. I mean, I don’t know where you fall on the spectrum exactly, but – ” Yuuri started to ramble before taking a deep breath. “My point is, I think you need to do some reading up on asexuality, and I need to apologize for among assumptions and pushing your boundaries last night. I should have talked to you rather than assuming anything.”

“Oh, solnyshko, I – I appreciate the apology, but I don’t think I would have even known how to explain all this without everything happening as it did, so – no need to.” Victor smiled. “Now come, show me the websites I know you’ve already compiled for me to look at.”

*~*

Yuuri rolled his eyes as Phichit kept giggling. “It’s really not *that* funny,” Yuuri groaned.

“Yes it is! Victor Nikiforov, supposed playboy and sex symbol, is freaking ace!! The irony is just too fantastic,” Phichit chuckled. 

Yuuri shrugged. “I mean, I guess.” He sighed. “But now I really have no idea what to get Victor for Christmas!”

Phichit frowned at him. “Are you serious right now?”

“Um, yes?”

Phichit sighed. “Do you remember how great you felt when you finally found out about asexuality and realized that you weren’t broken or alone, but part of a recognized group?”

Yuuri smiled softly. “Yeah, it was pretty huge.”

Phichit made a triumphant noise. “Exactly! And *that* is the feeling you gave Victor; that’s the gift you gave him. Didn’t think you could actually top the gift you gave last year, but damn Yuuri – sounds to me like you totally did!”

Slowly, Yuuri smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays, everyone!


End file.
